I figured
one reason why some might not like socializing with others.
Because from socializing they realize that they’re irrelevant, outlandish, boring, not good enough.
If you cannot measure it, it does not exist.
True? If life is messy, clean it up, organize it, and put it into a bento box.
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I feel I’m enough. But why do I waver so easily. Because I didn’t believe that I’m enough.
How do I make myself believe I am enough?
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January 19, 2011 at 14:16
While a full discourse on the topic is probably way out of context for a reply, I believe it prudent to consider certain issues more deeply, so I am going to be long-winded (as usual)
Firstly, consider what socializing is, and why people socialize. Socializing in general have agendas behind it, and some people not being comfortable with such situations might lead to the dislike of socializing. Secondly, meeting with people is not a way to validate one’s sense of self-worth, but consider what would happen if such a benchmark were to be used by most people in social situations. Humorously enough, and maybe ironically, you will find that it probably doesn’t differ much from what we see in most of today’s situations. If one has to put others down in order to feel good, then that person probably has issues that would make it better not to associate with that person. Don’t let an inflated sense of self worth from others worry you, and instead show true confidence by choosing to be who you want to be. Be proud of it, for that is a harder choice than weaving a web of fantasy to cover one’s insecurities.
Contrary to what I used to feel, that which cannot be measured does exist. For example, one can feel the depth of a relationship, but can one measure it? Being systematic and logical is important, but let’s not forget that we are humans, not computers. Mechanizing yourself is a surefire way to a bitter life.
Life is messy, only because of certain delusions people choose to hold. Here’s one – the belief that there is such a thing as completion of anything in life. “One day, I can finally stop working and start resting.” This mantra should be familiar, yet has work and complexities ever really stopped for anyone? Even in daily life, outside of career, work will always be waiting for you. “One day, he/she will accept me for who I am and stop complaining/nagging.” Wait long long. Maybe, if we just accept that life is messy and enjoy it anyway, we will feel better in life.
I don’t believe that any of us are ever “enough”. The moment we stop growing we start dying. The question is whether it is enough to be who we are. I believe the answer is no.
As we experience, learn, and grow, we change. In these instances, will you even bother to question your sense of worthiness? On the other hand, in periods of stagnation, would one not experience the fear of being too monotonous and contented that they start asking themselves silly questions?
When such roadblocks appear, there is only one path to take. The road, straight ahead. Life beckons.
January 20, 2011 at 11:17
Josh, that’s totally inspiring, I bet Tricia is wowed too =). Thanks for the usual long winded comment.
February 12, 2011 at 10:30
*CLAP CLAP